Life of Lane
by Tinkswings
Summary: After Lane has finally left her controlled life at her mom's, she decides to take on the world. And, from Chapter 9 onwards: Fastforwarding ten years, look what the future brought Lane ...
1. Long Gone Summers

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls.

**1. Long gone summers**

When Lane Kim had finally freed herself from her controlling mother, somehow all that seemed to be on her mind was that same person, her mom. She was free to go, all her stuff in storage, and enough money in her bankaccount to make it a long way but Lane hadn't changed that much that she could put the guilty feeling aside that had been rumbling in her stomach for days now. She couldn't get the thought out of her head, nor could anyone she knew and loved.

It was a wednesdaymorning when she finally decided to get it over with. She wanted to travel the world, be happy and careless, but if she had to talk to her mom first to clear her head, so be it.

Dressing neatly and combing her hair back, Lane was right back in the past. Closing her eyes, she felt her mom's strokes with the brush through her long straight hair, occassionally yanking a few hairs out due to little knots. She shook the thought of and sat down to put on a pair of shoes. Instantly she was reminded of her mom again, teaching her how to tie her shoes properly, that day in the summer before she went to school for the first time, where she would meet Rory. For a moment, Lane fell back on the bed and let the memories of long gone summers pass through her head when she didn't question her parents' authority yet.

After a few more minutes of remeniscing and doubting her choice of life at the moment, she sat up, grabbed her jacket and went out. How hard could it be?

Determined to finally get this over and done with, Lane walked up the little steps two Kim's Antiques and went in. The store was filled from head to toe with antiques or almost-antiques and it was almost impossible to move through the tiny little pathways made for customers without knocking something over. She smiled, remembering her mother's phrase: "You break, you buy!" She carefully moved between desks and lamps and found her way through to the back. "Mama?" she asked, hesitantly.

Lane walked a bit further and saw her mom going through some mail. She finally looked up and was apparently caught of guard. "Lane!" she said, awkwardly looking up and down the room. Lane fidgeted a bit and then sat down. "Mama, you don't have to say anything, it's just that ... I needed some closure. Or whatever you call it. I want to leave with the idea that we're okay, that we can still talk. That you're still my mother." She then bit her lip and stared at her hands. Why couldn't she form those sentences better? Somehow everyting she ever said to her mom, came out crooked and grammatically ... well, grammatically challenged.

They sat there in silence for what seemed like forever. Then mrs. Kim opened her mouth and Lane's worries faded away. "I'll always be your mother. That's one thing that you don't have to worry about. I'm sorry that you moved out, and to be honest, I wanted you to marry a nice Korean boy, with a good future. But if you need to do other things first, like see the world and study. That's fine by me. Just don't hate me for hoping you'll marry that nice Korean boy in the end." They both smiled. "I won't," Lane promised and found herself in a hug with her mother, something that she hadn't done in ages.

After a cup of tea and some silences, Lane stood up and said goodbye. Her mom had never been good with words, and she wouldn't change all of a sudden. The words she had spoken had made enough impact, helping her to banish her guilty feelings and to take on the world. She was confident she'd make it. Tomorrow.


	2. The World at My Feet ?

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Ian Carmichael, however, is mine.

**2. The world at my feet ...?**

Lane woke up with a weird tingly feeling running up and down her spine. Her suitcase was packed, her flight was booked, her first destination was familiar enough, but somehow she thought she missed the point. As in the big point. Closing her eyes and rubbing her palms together helped her remember.

She hadn't said goodbye! Her mom had been such a big issue, such a huge barrier to overcome, that she had totally forgotten to say goodbye to everyone else. And the worst part was that she had to say her goodbyes over the phone now.

After an hour and a half of phonecalls with tones that varied from politeness to plain bluntness – the band, ofcourse, she finally reached the bottom of the list. After a quick glance on the clock she decided to do that one in person. After all, you didn't say goodbye for a year to your best friend every day. She left the almost empty house – everything had been put into storage, except for the bigger furniture, that would be used by the next occupants – with a bag filled with cds and books, stuff she couldn't take with her and wasn't fit for storage. It was fit for Rory.

She unlocked her newly bought car and threw the stuff in the backseat. After having put on some music and rolling down the windows, she turned the ignition and drove off. Before she knew it, the ivy covered walls of Yale turned up ahead. Lane parked the car and was almost halfway down the path to Rory's dorm when she remembered the bag in the backseat of the car. She went back for it, while mumbling to herself how stupid she was, a little old forgetful lady, almost demented, when a laughing voice sounded next to her. "You might have a point there. Old ladies _do_ mumble to themselves while looking as angry as you are." Lane stood still and took in the laughing face of a guy her age. "Have we met?" she asked, not sure if she wanted to sound angry or laugh along with him.

Ian Carmichael bit his lip. The girl in front of him sounded everything but friendly. "No, we haven't, I just ..." He was lost for words, again, every time he met a girl that seemed interesting, he'd come up with a nice opening line – at least, that's what he thought it was – and then it blew right up in his face. "Never mind, see you around some time. Or not," he quickly added.

Lane was just about to open her mouth when the guy was already running along. Literally running. She felt annoyed. First he'd disturbed her thoughts and now she wasn't allowed to say anything? She thought for a second and then ran after him. "Hey, where are you going? First you make fun of me and then I'm not even given the chance to reply?" Lane gave him a questioning look. "That's completely not okay."

Ian stopped and listened. He shrugged. "So what did you want to say?"

"Well, when I asked you if we met before I was still deciding if I'd be furious with you or laughing with you. You didn't give me the chance to finish those thoughts. See, you caught me in a stress-mode, I'm on my way to say goodbye to my best friend. I'm a nice person. So, step two was to ask you your name. What _is_ your name?" She was rambling again and she knew it. But the guy didn't seem annoyed. Or impressed. He didn't show any emotion at all.

He felt baffled. This girl actually came running after him to finish a conversation. He felt blank. This was the first time he had ever gotten further than the cute opening line and the harsh comments. "My name?" He suddenly gained consciousness again and thought it would be polite to reply. "Ian. Ian Carmichael. And you?" He was getting ready for belated harshness but relaxed when he saw her eyes lit up.

"Lane Kim. Nice to meet you, Ian. See, we're not that bad at making conversation." Lane winked at him and then walked off, waving. She had to run now, if she still wanted to say goodbye properly. She hurried along, through the halls and knocked on the door, out of breath. Paris opened the door but she didn't get more than a nod from Lane. Rory was in her room, surrounded by books and charts and looked up disturbed when she entered. As soon as she saw it was Lane, her face relaxed. "Lane! Weren't you supposed to be on a plane right about now?" she said, hugging her friend.

"Not yet, I decided I couldn't leave until I'd seen and hugged you. I feel weird, going away for such a long time!" Lane sat down on the floor, since the bed was covered with paper and post-its. She looked around at all the stuff Rory had managed to collect and store since she moved to Yale. The closets were literally bursting with clothes, but then again, that had probably been Lorelai's fault.

Rory got down on the floor next to her and put an arm around her. "I'm so glad you came to see me! But don't feel weird, it'll be great. I promise. And I'll come visit wherever you are when I get my first break. Did you talk to your mom?" Lane nodded and explained what happened. Rory smiled. "You see, that worked out fine. I'm sure France'll be easier. As a matter of fact, I _know_ France is easier." Lane felt a little better and handed over the bag. "Will you keep this for me? And promise me that you'll listen to the music and read those books. They'll get lonely otherwise." They talked some more and then said goodbye. There was just enough time to catch her plane.

As she ran out of the dorm, she took the same route as she did when she went in. Unconsciously, she looked around for Ian, but was still startled when he popped up right in front of her. "Ian!" Woa Lane, that was a bit too enthusiastic. She looked at Ian more closely. It wasn't as if ... well, actually it _was _as if he was cute. Very cute.

He was tall. And very much not Korean, as she liked it. He had dark blonde hair, with lighter streaks and had amazing green eyes. She blinked a couple of times. Stop the staring, now! She smiled and then realized he hadn't said anything either.

Ian finally seemed to get back the use of his tongue. He bumped in to her again. Okay, he had to admit that he had wandered around the route she had taken earlier ever since they met. What was it about this girl? She was cute, that was obvious. Short, with dark straight hair and fiery eyes. Eeven though his tongue had gained consciousness, he wasn't able to form words yet and just stared back. After what felt like forever, Lane opened her mouth. Ian sighed. He wasn't the one that had to figure out what to say. Yet.

"Do you .... ehm ... do you go here? Yale, I mean?" Lane could've hit herself. What a lame question. But it was probably better than nothing. Who knows how long they would've just stood there and stared at each other.

"Yeah, I'm a junior. I'm majoring in politics." A decent sentence! If he would've been out of sight by now, Ian would've applauded himself. "What about you?" They started walking back, towards the coffeestand near Rory's dorm.

At that moment, Lane realized what she was doing. She was calmly talking to someone she just met, and had been staring at him for ten minutes or so. Suddenly she felt cold. This wasn't happening. She glanced at her watch and knew she was right. She was going to miss her flight.


	3. Trafficjams and Brownies

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Ian Carmichael, however, is mine.

**3. Traffic-jams and brownies**

Ian ran to his car, Lane following closely behind. He unlocked the car and as they both jumped in, he turned his face towards her. "Can you give me directions? I could drive you to the airport with my eyes closed, but I have never been to Stars Hollow."

He had no idea what he was doing anymore. Driving some girl to the airport, a girl he barely knew, a girl he really liked, a girl that was taking a plane to France and would be gone for at least a year. Then he remembered what his mom used to say. _Why should everything you do gain you something, Ian? _Her voice boomed through his head. Good point, mom, good point. He turned the ignition and glanced at Lane, who was concentrating on how to formulate some good instructions. Finally she took a notebook out of her bag and drew the directions. "Thanks," he murmured and drove off.

Lane was drumming her fingers on her thighs and anxiously glancing at her watch every two seconds. Really, she'd timed it. Two seconds. She looked through the window, willing the traffic-jam to move and reveal some sort of magic pathway they could take. They'd been past her house already, loaded her suitcases in the trunk and made sure there was nothing left behind. She hadn't thought for a moment that this might be weird, or at least unusual, having a guy she hardly knew help her get to the airport as soon as possible. But when they were checking the appartment for the last things, she'd realized it. He was a miracle. Lane smiled and focused on the signs next to the highway. They were almost there. The cars started to move again and she relaxed in her seat, her hands resting on her lap.

Ian parked at the short-term parking zone, near one of the entrances. As they ran trhough the hallways to the check-in, he laughed. This must be one of the most crazy days he had ever had.

Finally they spotted the right check-in desk. The line wasn't that long, it seemed like most of the passengers had already checked in. Lane sighed as the stewardess handed her her boarding-pass. She hadn't forgotten anything, not even her passport, and her suitcases weren't too heavy. She tucked the documents away safely and then looked up at Ian again. "So ..." she said, feeling awkward. "I have to get through customs pretty soon. They start boarding in twenty minutes." Ian nodded. "I figured, yeah. Want to get one cup of coffee before you go?" he asked. Lane smiled. "I'd like to."

They walked over to the little coffee-bar next to the check-in desks and Ian bought them both a cup of coffee and some brownies. They sipped their coffee in silence for a little while. Then Ian decided he had to ask. "Ehm, if this is too personal or something, just say so, but I was wondering why there's not someone you know here. I mean, driving you to the airport and everything." He checked Lane's expression, hoping he wasn't being rude.

Lane munched on her brownie, careful not to each too much of it, since she'd like some in the plane. Would they have brownies in France? she wondered. "Eh ... what? Oh no I don't mind you asking." She chewed some more and then swallowed. "This was and is something solo, kind of. I wanted to do something that was totally mine and that also meant getting myself to the airport safe and sound. But I've failed step one horribly, as you might notice." She laughed. "I said goodbye to everyone yesterday. And I probably would've gotten here myself if I didn't get the idea in my head that I had to see Rory one more time." She saw Ian look up questioningly when she mentioned Rory. "She's my best friend. She used to live in Stars Hollow, but now she's a Yalie just like you. You must have seen her around campus. I'm pretty sure she takes some politics classes as well."

"Maybe I have. I don't think you've failed at doing this solo. You alone have managed to convince some guy you never met to drive you to the airport. That's pretty independent if you ask me." Lane smiled. "Thanks Ian." She stood up and reached in her bag again, taking out a sheet of paper and a pen. She scribbled something down. "For everything. I'm not going to be near phones regularly in the next couple of months, but I'll check my e-mail a lot. Maybe you'd like to mail me sometime." She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek and then picked up her coat and bag. "I've gotta go now." She turned around and walked to customs but was stopped. Ian turned up once again, with a bag of brownies. "In case the French haven't discovered them yet." He hesitated but then kissed her. On the lips. Then he left.

Lane's mouth fell open. She tried to say something but found herself just staring at his back, walking away from her. Nice timing, Lane, she thought to herself, annoyed. She went to customs pretty quick, and ignored the funny remarks the officer made. Not in the mood.

Finally, they started to board and Lane shoved her bag under the seat in front of her. She took of her coat and settled in the small chair. Why did they always make these things so damn uncomfortable? It wasn't the size, it was the material and the shape. She had a long flight ahead of her. She stared blankly at the stewardess, who was making cheerleader-like moves in an attempt to teach them what to do in case of an emergency. Then, a thunderous sound came from below them, and the plane started to move. No way back now, she thought, smiling, opening the bag of brownies and taking one out.


	4. Lost & Found in Paris

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Ian Carmichael, however, is mine. Paul de Beauvoir and Adrienne Gilles also sprang from my own imagination.

**4. Lost & found in Paris**

The flight seemed to be shorter than Lane had imagined when she first booked it. And shorter than Rory had told her it would be. Maybe there really was a thing like good weather, like wind from the west or something. She had pretty much finished the whole bag of brownies and didn't touch the food she was served. No plane-food for Lane, that was for sure. A friend of Dave's was supposed to pick her up at Charles de Gaulle, she'd met this Paul only once, but instantly liked him. When she mailed him to say she was coming to Paris in november, he immediately offered to pick her up at the airport. A bit of a relief, really, since all she had ever seen from France was Lille, where her parents took her on a holiday when she was four years old.

The stewardess said they were starting to land and urged everyone to fasten their seatbelts. Lane obliged and stared out of the window. It was a cloudy day, pretty much like the weather she had left behind in Stars Hollow. Finally she felt steady ground below her and was thankful for the fact that she had always been able to sleep everywhere, even if that place was high up in the air, turbulence and all. She felt a bit shaky, but rested, and even felt like she skipped the jetlag. She fumbled with the seatbelt and then stood up, scooping her bag from under the seat in front of her in the process. Okay, luggage it is. She headed to the exit, determined to get the best spot at the conveyor belt where they put all the suitcases.

The belt had been at it for 40 minutes now, every now and then spluttering out a few new suitcases and Lane was getting more and more nervous. Then she saw hers burst out and quickly ran over to it. Some woman got there first however and took it. Lane's jaw fell open and for a second she had no idea what to do. Still confused, she ran after the woman, who looked very French and she just hoped she would speak English. All Lane could manage to say in French was "Je ne comprends pas!" which was very nice until someone else said the same.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" The woman turned around, with a tired smile and fluttering eyelashes. "Yes, what is it?" she said, in a thick French accent. "I think you might have taken the wrong suitcase. You see, the one you have in your hand is mine." Lane bit her lip and hoped this woman wouldn't be the "madame" from hell.

Adrienne Gilles felt her face flush. She'd done it again. She really should put some stickers on the damn thing, seeing she travelled so much. "Oh no, I've done it again. Thank you for seeing it and coming up to me! Last time I was stuck with men's clothes for a week and I promise you, there's no fun in that." She smiled at the girl in front of her. She felt bad about the fake smile, but 10 hour flights usually made her quite grumpy. "I'm Adrienne," she shook Lane's hand. "I'm Lane. And if this helps, I think I've seen your suitcase, since I picked it up first. I was under the impression that it was mine but then saw it didn't have my nametag." Adrienne sighed. Mental note: nametags. This girl was very organised. Or she was just very much unorganised, and, knowing herself a little bit, she guessed the latter. They went back to the belt and Adrienne spotted her suitcase. A plan came up in her mind when she looked at Lane's heavily decorated bag. "Do you have a ... how do you call it ... marker?" Lane nodded, knowing exactly what the plan was. Adrienne signed her suitcase and handed back the marker. She stuck her hand in the pocket of her coat and managed to find her businesscard. "You're American, right? If you ever feel like it, come visit me at work, alright?" She then hurried along to the exits. Thankfully with the right suitcase.

Lane wasn't so sure about Adrienne yet, but stuck the card between the pages of the book she was reading – Anna Karenina, Rory had finally managed to talk her into that one – and picked up her suitcase. Okay, exits ... She managed to get there without hitting anyone, okay, maybe she did, but she got away fast enough and avoided the possibility of straining her tongue on an apology.

The arrivals-hall was packed with people, all holding out little cardboard signs with names Lane couldn't pronounce. She checked for Paul with a big smile, proud of herself for making it this far. She checked everyone's face, suddenly doubting her own memory. They'd met a long time ago at Dave's, when they weren't dating yet and Lane was just blinded by her crush. Could she really have gotten his face mixed up? No, because that would mean he would have to recognize her and then she would have had a hand on her shoulder by now. Great, she jinxed it all, by thinking this was going to be easy, travelling alone. She checked her watch, already time-zoned. 2 pm.

Half an hour later, Lane was sure something had gone terribly wrong. Cursing under her breath, she worked her way through the crowd, towards the payphones. Turning her bag upside down helped uncover the white envelope Rory had given her, full with leftover euro's from her summer with Lorelai.

She slid some coins through the small gap and dialled Dave's number. This was going to be awkward. Last time she'd seen him, they broke up. Still, she knew his number by heart and he was the only one who knew Paul. Why had she been so amazingly stupid that she hadn't thought to ask _his_ phonenumber? She waited for him to pick up, and supported her head with her hand while waiting. Okay, think of a plan B. Plan B, plan B ... Maybe look up Paul in a phonebook? Then she heard a muffled sound on the other end of the line and a small cough. Oh no, time-difference, it must be after midnight. "Hello?" sounded a sleepy voice. "Dave? Did I wake you up?" Lane asked, hesitantly. "It's Lane."

Dave was suddenly totally awake. He hadn't been sleeping yet, but he just came back from a late-night branstorm session with some guys from class and was shattered. Lane? Why are you calling me? He then realized that he hadn't actually spoken the words, and cleared his throat. It was polite to at least say something when someone called you. "Lane? Hi. No, you didn't wake me, just had a long day." Hmm, nice response, very neutral, not judgmental or awkward. Yay for him.

He didn't sound harsh or awkward or anything. Lane let out a sbreath of relief. "Sorry for calling so late, still, but I need your help. I'm in Paris and ..." She couldn't finish, because Dave was already interrupting her.

"You're in _Paris_? Why are you ... how ... I mean, what are you doing in Paris? Are you alone? Is Rory there too? Did you _run_?" Dave was certain she'd ran. Oh no, she'd run away from her mother and know she needed him! Probably cash or a place to stay. "Do you need a place to stay? Because I know this guy, Paul, I think you've even met him, he has an ..." Then it was Lane's turn to stop the rambling.

"I know, he was supposed to meet me at the airport, where I am now, but I can't find him. And somehow, stupid me, I forgot to write down his last name and address." She paused. "Why would I _run_?" she then asked, realizing what he had just implied. "I've just taken the year off, travelling around in Europe, alone. Rory's at Yale."

Dave felt a little dissappointed, he admitted to himself. It would be so cool if she'd be on the run. Song-worthy even. Anyway. "So you still talk to Paul? I haven't spoken to him in ages. I'll go find his address, hang on a second. (...) Here it is. Paul de Beauvoir. And before you ask, he's not related to Simone. Address is ... I don't know. I think he moved, I tried to mail him something and I have the idea that it never arrived. Do you want his cellphone-number though?"

Lane thanked Dave and promised that she'd mail him soon. She felt relieved that he was so nice on the phone and she smiled when she thought of his imagination running wild. She looked at the number she scribbled down on a piece of paper. Oh, she really hoped he'd pick up.She moved her suitcase and bag closer to the wall and shielded them with her legs. More coins. This should be enough. She punched in the numbers and waited, praying for him to pick up.


	5. Smelly Cheeses Galore

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Ian Carmichael, however, is mine. Paul de Beauvoir and Adrienne Gilles also sprang from my own imagination.

**5. Smelly cheeses galore**

Paul de Beauvoir, cigarette dangling from the corner of his mouth, tried to drive with one hand while picking up and opening his cellphone at the same time. Not a good idea, he realized, when he finally managed to clamp the phone between his head and shoulder and a heap of ashes formed on his denim-covered crotch. He cursed and took one hand of of the steering wheel again, to put out his cigarette. Isabelle had probably been right when she bought him those nicotine-patches. _Merde_. He almost didn't notice the car slowing down in front of him. Finally, Paul sighed and answered the phone. "_Oui_?" Buying that headset he spotted at the store was probably a good idea too. "Is this Paul?" a hesitating voice sounded through the receiver.

Lane! Smart girl, she'd found his number. Why on earth hadn't they thought of that before? "Lane! Yes, it's me. You're amazing! Where did you get this number?" he asked, smiling.

"I called Dave, after waiting like half an hour I got pretty anxious. Luckily I learned his number by heart a long time ago, because I seem to have mislocated my addressbook. Anyway, where are you? I'm almost out of coins, haven't been to an ATM yet." Lane laughed. His reply had been typical of Paul, and that comforted her. The picture in her mind was correct then, which was a huge relief.

"I'm stuck in traffic. The public transport companies are on a strike, so it's even more jammed than usual. I think I should be at the airport in about 15 minutes, though. Can you hold on that long?" Paul felt guilty about making her wait, but it really wasn't his fault.

"Sure, it's just good to know that you're actually coming. For all I knew you'd forgotten or maybe you'd even gotten into an accident and well, you're the only one I know in the whole of France. Okay, my coins are gone, so ..." A click sounded and they were disconnected. Lane stared at the phone. At least he was coming. She turned around, looking for an ATM machine. Great, there it was. Let's get some euros.

Paul laughed when they got disconnected. Perfect timing. The traffic started to move again, and he already spotted the signs that marked his exit. Okay, let's not keep this girl waiting. He manoeuvred his way through the lanes and finally reached the airport where he parked way too far from the exit, but at least it was a spot where he wouldn't get a ticket. Again.

Lane filled her wallet with unfamiliar banknotes and looked up to find a coffeestand. She'd been too optimistic when it came to her jetlag. She actually had one now. Thinking of Rory's valuable list of French words, she ordered. "Une café s'il vous plait," she said, trying to pronounce it right. The boy behind the counter smiled encouraging and handed her a large cup. Before she even got to turn around and look for a chair, someone put a hand on her shoulder. She looked up, half-expecting a mean looking security person and grinned when she saw Paul.

"You're here! Great, do you want some coffee too?" she asked. Paul nodded and bought some for himself. He took two plastic lids or however you called them to be able to take them along with them. He handed Lane his coffee and carried her bag and suitcase. "Is this all you need for a whole year?" he asked, not convinced that there wasn't a locker filled till the top somewhere.

"Well, I probably could use a lot more, but I figured that it would just get in the way. Especially since I'm planning on travelling around a lot. I'm practical," she explained when she saw that he still wasn't convinced.

They talked all the way to Paul's place, an amazing appartment in one of the cooler areas of Paris: Quartier Latin. Filled with tiny shops and restaurants and close to almost everything. Lane felt like she could use an extra pair of eyes. They climbed the crooked staircase to his floor, Paul again carried her stuff, and finally fell down on the sofa. They both sighed; Lane from her jetlag and Paul from the load he had carried. He wondered what was in the suitcase, since at first it looked so charmingly small and not heavy at all.

Lane felt like she could sleep for hours, but all of a sudden an unpleasant thought crossed her mind. They hadn't discussed if she could stay at his place. She kind of assumed he'd be fine, but she had to ask, and now seemed to be the right time. "Paul?" she asked, following him into the kitchen. "I need to ask you something. Ehm, I was wondering if I could stay at your place. At least for a couple of nights, until I find something for myself." Lane tried to read his face when he listened intently. What was he thinking? Probably that more than one night was not an option.

Then Paul started to laugh. She actually thought he was going to kick her out, wasn't she? He saw that she was biting her lip and couldn't help but laugh harder. "Lane, you're kidding right? Look around you, I have more than enough room and I wouldn't have offered to pick you up if I didn't like you enough to have stay with me for a while. You can stay until you leave France, I need company. You have no idea how happy I was when you mailed me. I love to have a roommate, and mine just moved out." He started to laugh again. "Seriously, I think you're the one who'll be trying to get out of here as soon as possible. Have you ever eaten something I cooked?"

Lane laughed with him. "No, I haven't had the pleasure. But Dave warned me once. I'm so relieved! I love this place," she said, looking around, already fond of the cozy appartment. "Good, that's settled then. Want some food? You look like you need to sleep, get rid of that jetlag, but my dad always says the best remedy for jetlag next to sleep is _une baguette et fromage_. So, here you go." Paul handed her a large piece of bread smeared with very smelly cheese. Lane sniffed. "It's supposed to smell like that, I promise. If you don't like it, check the fridge. I got lots more, smelly cheeses galore. I've got peanutbutter too," he added noticing the doubting look on her face.

Lane tried the smelly cheese, but then opted for the peanutbutter instead. Her stomach was already messed up enough. Paul had a spare room, with a big and comfy bed in the corner, already made. He really had counted on her staying then. She wondered who the mysterious roommate was that left a couple of weeks back. After taking out the more important stuff, she shoved the suitcase under the bed and fell down on it. Turning around, she stared through the window. In the background Paul was humming a song, something she'd never heard. Probably French. Or European in general, or made up! Ooh, it would be great to have a musician to live with. She shook the thought of and tried to remember what she needed to do before getting some sleep. Make some calls, short calls, since they were going to be long-distance. Long distance as in overseas. It was weird, being in France. She didn't feel like she was outside America yet. Paul's accent was minute, and she hadn't seen anything but the airport and the view from the appartment.

"Paul, can I make two quick calls? I have to let my mom and Rory know that I got here safely." He nodded in agreement and handed her the phone. "Go ahead. And say hi to Rory for me, will you?" Oh yeah, she almost forgot that Rory had been at the party too. Again, her humongous crush on Dave was to blame. It was a miracle that she had even remembered Paul, really. She took the phone and went back to the spare room, collapsing on her bed. These calls would have to be pretty quick, otherwise she'd be sleeping halfway through.

Her mom wasn't in. Or wait a minute, time difference! Hello Lane, you really need some sleep, don't you. She was probably serving customers right about now, the out of state-customers, who usually came on Saturday-afternoons. The store's answering-machine took over the line and Lane waited for the beep. "Hi mama, it's Lane. I just wanted to say that I'm okay, the flight was fine and Paul's nice. I'll call soon to tell you more. Goodnight. Because here it is. Night I mean." She hung up and tried to decide what to do now. She'd call Rory tomorrow. She put the phone back in the dockingstation and said goodnight to Paul.


	6. On love & feeling homesick

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Ian Carmichael, however, is mine. Paul de Beauvoir and Adrienne Gilles also sprang from my own imagination.

**6. On love & feeling homesick**

Lane woke up with a tingly feeling in her stomach, she seemed to have that a lot lately. Usually it meant that she'd forgotten something, or something was missing, but now she couldn't think of anything. Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, she looked around the sunlit room. Paul had given her the best room, she thought, she didn't even need an alarm-clock for the sun woke her up. Ah well, she'd have to enjoy it while it lasted, it was the beginning of november, colder days were kicking in and that meant a lot less sunshine. She kicked off her duvet and reached for her glasses. She really needed a new pair, these looked like they were made in the eighties and even then by some designer who had no feeling for style. Her last, much cuter, pair had been crushed when she moved out.

Finally being able to get out of bed and into a pair of sweatpants and a hooded shirt, Lane made her way to the kitchen, where Paul was already eating his breakfast. He looked up, gave her a goofy smile and went back to reading his newspaper. He mumbled something Lane couldn't quite make out. "What?" she asked. Paul put his paper aside and gulped down some coffee. "I was trying to say that I'm not much of a morning person and that I haven't put in my contacts yet." Lane sat down next to him, laughing at his blurry actions and his dishevelled hair. She took over his newspaper and said, innocently batting her eyelashes; "Then you won't be needing this, will you?" It was, ofcourse, a French newspaper, but Lane had decided earlier that the best way to learn a language was to read the papers, because then at least you could relate to the topics and guess some of the meanings.

Even though Paul apparently wasn't a morning person, he managed to make Lane feel more than welcome. He'd picked up some croissants at the bakery and made scrambled eggs and a pot full of strong coffee. After they finished breakfast, they talked a bit about Lane's plans. She would be on her own a lot, since Paul had a job and had to start early next Monday. It was sundaymorning now, so at least they had a day to get adjusted. It took a long time for Lane to admit that reading the paper was way above her level. She was thinking about this day, what to do next. All she really wanted to do now, was call Rory, but it was ten am here, so that meant that it was the middle of the night in Stars Hollow, or at Yale, wherever Rory was. So that would have to wait. Well then, a shower would probably be a good idea, and then maybe Paul could show her around a bit. She'd never been in Paris before, and although it might seem cheesy, she really wanted to stand on top of the Eiffel-tower and climb the stairs to the Sacre Coeur.

Lane sat on the couch, waiting for Paul to get out of the shower. She was already done and felt refreshed. She braided her hair so she wouldn't have to have clammy hair stuck to her face all day. While she waited, she decided to read some more and opened up Anna Karenina where she stranded last time. She was beginning to like it more and more, now that Anna had gone home and Wronsky had followed her there.

The book fell open on the page where she'd put Adrienne's businesscard. Lane studied it, and when she saw that the hotel she worked at was near Paul's appartment, she decided to go and visit her tomorrow. That way she wouldn't feel too lost.

She looked around, taking int the appartment. Suddenly, she felt awkward and a bit lonely. She knew that it didn't make sense whatsoever, since Paul was just a few feet away, but she felt homesick. She already missed Rory, and she was dissappointed that she had met Ian on the day she had to take that plane to France. Lane tried to shake the feeling off, but she already knew it wouldn't fade until she had so much to do and on her mind that the thought got pressed back, moved aside. And it would pop back up at the most inconvenient times.

When Paul was finally done, they filled a bag with food and a thermos filled with coffee and wrapped scarves around their necks. They were going to have lunch on the stairs to the Sacre Coeur, and then walk around a bit. The afternoon passed by so quickly, even when they stood in line to visit the Eiffel-tower. Paul had been on it only once, when he was 8 years old, so he didn't mind going along with her, which was good, since she actually had a little fear of heights. Okay, a big one, but that wasn't going to stop her from seeing one of the most amazing views of France. It was a bright day, and when they finally reached the top, they could see the whole of Paris. They finished their day by walking along the Seine and sharing the last of the coffee. Lane's homesickness kicked in again, but when Paul suddenly stood before her with a huge grin and took her hand, the feeling slithered off once more. They ran back to the Quartier Latin, where Paul promised her a great dinner at one of the small Greek restaurants.

They arrived back at the appartment after ten, and Lane decided this would be a great moment to call Rory. She dialled the number and willed Rory to pick up. She did, thankfully. "Hello?" she heard the oh so familiar voice. "Rory! Hey, it's Lane. Is this a good time, or did I catch you at a bad moment?"

Rory sat on her bed, already back at Yale on a sunday to do some serious catching up on her classes. She was just making a to do list, that included getting someone's notes and stopping by the library, when the phone rang. It was Lane. Rory shoved aside all the papers, books and files on her bed and made herself comfortable. "Lane! No, not bad at all, I was just going to do some homework, but wasn't feeling like it anyway. How was your flight?" She was anxious to know if Lane loved Paris just as much as she and Lorelai had.

"It was great! But I almost didn't even make it on time. On my way out from your dorm I ran into this guy I'd met on my way in, and he's honestly one of the most cutest guys I ever met. Anyway, I started talking to him and then I realized I was going to be late. He ended up driving me to Stars Hollow and then to the airport. I think he has one or two classes with you, he's a politics major. His name's Ian Carmichael."

Rory thought deeply but couldn't think of anyone by that name. "Nope, sorry, have no idea. I'll look out for him though. How's Paris?" she asked.

"Paris is perfect, at least the part I've seen so far. Paul's been really nice and I can stay at his place for as long as I like. We've been on the Eiffeltower today. Anyway, I'll e-mail you the rest of my adventures, okay? Otherwise Paul's phonebill will be way too high for either of us to handle."

"Sure, have a good time! I miss you already!" Lane heard Rory say. They hung up and there it was again. Feeling loved and missed was an excellent way to feel homesick again. She really hoped it wouldn't last long.


	7. Missing Out

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Ian Carmichael, however, is mine. Paul de Beauvoir and Adrienne Gilles also sprang from my own imagination.

**7. Missing out **

Rubbing her eyes, Lane slid under the covers a little while longer. This was the first day that Paul was back at work and she'd be alone all day. All day, that's right. The thing about finally being in a country you have always wanted to be, was that you couldn't seem to make up your mind. Where to go, what to do ... The covers felt nice and safe, but Lane didn't admit, not even to hereself, that she was afraid to leave them. Already she was counting the days until Rory would come and visit her. Snap out of it, girl! Come on. She sat up, took a deep breath and then jumped out of bed, knocking over a lamp and hurting her ankle in the process. She cursed under her breath and then remembered noone was watching her and cursed again, out loud this time. Feeling refreshed – especially after she took her morningshower – she made breakfast and coffee and grinned at the note Paul left her. _Lanie, will be back by 5. Do not open the door to anyone, except for me when I've lost my keys again. French people are creeps, I assure you. If you somehow do feel the need to meet them, there's a traveldictionary that Dave once used when he visited on the top shelf next to the tv. Do not, I repeat, do not buy food. I can't cook and I will not allow you to cook during the first week at least. We're going out tonight. x Paul_.

She stuck the note between the last pages of her diary and then got dressed. Since she did feel the need to go out – mainly to give herself some energy and a kick in the ass – she stood on a chair to find the dictionary and put it in her bag, along with a bottle of water, an apple and a notebook. Oh, and ofcourse her wallet. She shook her head at her own stupidity and walked out into the little hall, locked the door behind her and braced herself against the overwhelming city of Paris.

It wasn't overwhelming. It felt good. Crowded, but good. The subway wasn't hard to find and she was in awe when she noticed how clean everything was. It was almost Stars Hollow-clean, like Taylor had a French brother or something. She paid for a week's worth of tickets and then took one of the lines to the stop that Adrienne's businesscard said. Very thoughtful, putting public transport directions on a card like that.

She reached the station and fastened her scarf more tightly. It was getting really cold, winter was closing in and it was real hard to miss. Lane quickly crossed the street, where she could check the streetsigns to see where she had to go. Halfway there, a man bumped into her, almost knocking her to the floor. "Hey!" she yelled, figuring that was kind of an international comment. The man just turned around, looked at her with dismay and walked on. "Very polite,_ monsieur_," Lane mumbled and reached the other side of the street. Then she noticed that her bag was open. She didn't leave it open. Or did she? Suddenly not so sure anymore, she opened it some more and peered inside. Everything was there, right? Wallet, check, apple, check, notebook, check, dictionary ... What? The stupid and arrogant French guy stole her pocketdictionary? Or should she say Paul's? Why would someone steal that! Her wallet alone, even without the 50 euro bill that was in it, was worth more than that. Ha. That'd serve him right. Maybe he'd learn some polite sentences while studying the book.

Despite the good ending of the so-called robbery, Lane felt a little shaky and was glad when she saw the big sign of the hotel where Adrienne worked pop up in front of her. It was a classy building, not in a rich, luxurious, new money kind of way but in an aristocratic, old money, stylish way. It looked like a place Emily Gilmore could spend some time. She climbed the stairs that led to the front door and opened the door. It gave way to a spacious lobby, with sofas and armchairs that looked like you could spend a week in without ever having to feel uncomfortable. The walls were covered with rows of books. Lane looked at her clothes and was relieved she had decided to wear a pair of black pants and classy coat. She checked out the hall some more and then noticed a familiar face. Adrienne came in from the back and took her position behind the desk. "Adrienne?" Lane carefully approached the desk, remembering all too well her knocking over of the lamp that mroning. Not a good place to have that happen again.

Adrienne entered the lobby with her mind somewhere else. Her intray was overflowing and guests were constantly calling or coming by so that she wasn't able to finish anything. She just felt like giving up when she heard a quiet American voice say her name. She looked up and saw the Korean girl she met a couple of days before at the airport. "_Bonjour_! Lane, was it, right?" Adrienne had always been proud at her ability to remember names. It was much politer and gave people a good feeling about themselves. In this case, she was extra glad about that, because the girl had something that interested her. And she could do with some extra social contacts, since she moved to Paris for her new job, she didn't have much time to visit her friends back in Cannes.

Lane smiled. She was glad Adrienne remembered her, and instantly noticed that the woman looked much more relaxed than she had looked at the airport. Although there was still a slight feeling of stress surrounding her, Lane figured that had to be from work, she seemed much nicer. "Yes, it was, and is ofcourse. I thought I'd look you up. Do you maybe have time to get a cup of coffee somewhere?" Adrienne nodded and grabbed her bag from under the desk. An hour away couldn't hurt, in fact it would do her good, and besides Raymond was in the back. She told him that she'd be gone for a while and then left, arm in arm with Lane.

Lane thought it was funny, how Adrienne immediately felt at ease with her and was in fact even confiding in her about feeling lonely sometimes now that she moved to Paris. They had coffee and pastries at a little coffeeshop around the corner. Lane told her about the dictionary-robbery and her clumsiness in Paul's appartment. After almost an hour of talking they went back to the hotel and Lane left Adrienne to her work. Taking with her some brochures that the hotel had on tourist-attractions and a map of the subway, she felt more confident and entered a bookshop that she'd passed on the way to the hotel. She bought a new dictionary and despite Paul's note, she bought some fruit and cookies. She wouldn't cook them, so actually she did nothing wrong.

She entered using the sparekey she got from Paul the day before and sat down on the sofa, opening the packet of cookies. Kicking of her shoes, she leafed throught the brochures, but didn't feel the need to go and visit any of the attractions that day. Taking it easy seemed perfect now, and she had all the time of the world. It would all be there the next day, it wasn't like she was missing out.


	8. Moving on & looking back

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Ian Carmichael, however, is mine. Paul de Beauvoir and Adrienne Gilles also sprang from my own imagination.

**8. Moving on & looking back**

Two weeks had passed and Lane's head was overflowing with information. And pictures. And people, for Paul had thrown three parties especially for her, to meet some new people. At least, that had been his reason when she asked. She suspected that he always loved a good excuse to throw a party.

She'd visited the Notre Dame, the Louvre, Centre Pompidou … You name it. Lane couldn't remember when she last took that many photographs in two weeks. Never, probably. But that could be a side-effect of her new digital camera. You just clicked and clicked, since you could always erase the awful and failed shots anyway. Rory's e-mail inbox was probably overflowing now, since she'd sent a whole lot of pictures the other day when she visited an internet-café.

Lane was a bit nervous. Paul would be home in about an hour, and she was planning on telling him that she was moving on. She loved France, but she felt a bit caught. Part of her desperately wanted to go home, another part wanted to stay and relax in Paris with Paul but the biggest part wanted to take Adrienne up on her offer to help her do some research for the new hotel in Amsterdam. About a week ago Adrienne had told her about her promotion. Her new job was to start up new hotels in Belgium, the Netherlands and Germany. Her first job was in Amsterdam, and this weekend she'd be leaving to do a lot of research. Knowing that Lane really wanted to see more of Europe, but was getting bored with just travelling and sightseeing, Adrienne had decided to offer her a job. And she took it.

The other day, Lane had spent a couple of hours in an internet café downtown. She and Rory had arranged to meet online, to talk. Phonecalls were way too expensive. Typing as fast as she could, Lane realized how much she missed her best friend and a few seconds after she had that thought, Rory typed a new message: "Do you want to meet up in Amsterdam? In about two weeks I have a break from here, and there's not much to do around here. I miss you!" Lane had felt a big smile come up and agreed to the plan.

Lane nodded off for a second, feeling tired of stressing and waiting. She woke up when there was a loud bang downstairs. A moment later, Paul came rushing up the stairs, looking annoyed. He didn't look like he was in the mood to talk, but she decided to dump the news on him anyway. "Paul?" He looked up. "I need to talk to you. I'm leaving."

_Okay folks, this was the last of Lane. At least for now._


	9. Rebuilding Burnt Bridges, part I

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles, a long time ago.

**Rebuilding Burnt Bridges, part I**

March 12th 2015, Cannes, France.

"Excusez?" Lane raised her eyebrows. She could not and would not tolerate this kind of behaviour. "Do you have any idea who you are talking to? You forgot? Well, that's obvious. Remember that in the future I will not tolerate this without consequences. Consider yourself lucky this time. Goodday."

She put down the receiver calmly. That there was no need to smash phones, was something she had learned the hard way. The phonecompany hadn't been pleased. Looking up at the clock right above her office-door, she realized that she was late. Again. Lane opened the door to the small office next to hers.

"Anna? Can you please arrange for someone to pick up Daniel? Merci," she gave the girl a quick smile and then turned around again.

Okay, what next? The dayplanner that lay on her desk was cleared for the next two days, an occassion that seldomly occurred. She had only complied with Daniel's request because he said it was urgent and she knew she had neglected him the past couple of months. But what else could she have done? Noone in their right mind would have turned an offer like this down. Even if it meant workweeks that usually exceeded the already extreme of 60 hours. She looked around, checking if everything was in order. It looked alright, and Anna would know what to do, Lane thought to herself. Absentmindedly, she picked up her mail and leafed through the letters.

"Madame Kim? Your taxi is waiting and I sent Guillaume to pick up Monsieur Laurent."

Anna looked up at Lane expectantly and was surprised when she saw the pale face of her employer. "Is everything alright? Can I get you some water?"

Lane's hands were shaking, barely holding on to the letter in her hand. She slid back in her chair and didn't even seem to hear Anna's voice. Finally, the words filtered through.

"Can ... can you cancel that taxi? And call Guillaume and tell him to drive Daniel to our house instead of the restaurant. Please, Anna, hurry."

Slowly, she took the letter out of the envelope again. Did she read it correctly? Her finger traced the printed words. _Mrs. Keiko Kim, 3-19-1954 to 3-10-2015._ Quietly Lane folded the sheet of paper and put it back. A tear rolled down her cheek.

_March 10th 2005, Paris, France_

_"No mama, I'm not coming home yet," Lane said impatiently. How many times did she have to say this. She was having the best time in her life and all her mother asked was when she would be coming home. The past few months she had travelled to Amsterdam and worked for Adrienne, and after the job was done, there was more to be done in Paris. Adrienne and Lane worked together like magic, this wasn't something she was willing to give up. The voice on the other side of the line was close to tears, but Lane didn't even notice. "I've got to go now, mama, I'll check in in a while." She slammed the phone down and dashed out of the phonebooth. Hurriedly she checked her watch and ran down the stairs to the subway. No time to waste. She was supposed to meet Adrienne in half an hour, and swore when she just missed her line. Ten more minutes. Shaking her head, she thought of her mother. She just didn't want Lane to have a life, to experience things, wonderful things. Nor did Rory, when she came to think of it. They met two months ago, in Amsterdam. Lane had taken a day off, wanted to hang out, but all Rory did was talk about going home. Stars Hollow didn't feel like home anymore, not now she had found all this, work she was good at, people that liked her, thought she was smart. Lane tried to explain, but Rory wouldn't listen. "You can't just give up your family and friends," she had said, half saying, half asking her. "That's not what I'm doing. I'm taking a chance, a chance to get a great life, something for me, just for me. Don't you want me to have that?" Lane had replied. Rory just shook her head and didn't say much until she left. They'd spoken on the phone afterwards, but there was something that seemed to be missing, something they'd had forever. Understanding, friendship._

The door opened and Anna came back in. Hastily, Lane wiped her cheeks dry and looked up.

"Monsieur Laurent will be at your house in about 45 minutes, I expect," Anna informed her.

"Is there anything else I can do?"

"Just one thing. Or .. no, two actually. Can you get me the number of Lorelai Gilmore, in Stars Hollow, Connecticut? And then book me and Daniel on a flight to Hartford."

Anna nodded and turned around.

"Oh and Anna? Thank you," Lane said, her voice almost inaudible.


	10. Rebuilding Burnt Bridges, part II

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

**Rebuilding Burnt Bridges, part II**

March 12th 2015, Cannes, France.

Daniel Laurent was waiting on the sofa, leafing through a magazine, unable to recall even the last page he had seen. Something was wrong, something Anna had said on the phone, some vibe Lane had sent through. He stood up and paced around for a while, silenlty cursing himself for unpacking so quickly. That would've been something to keep him busy.

A door slammed, somewhere downstairs, and Daniel hurried to the door. "Lane?"

Lane looked up, right into the worried eyes of her husband. She ran upstairs, clutching her bags, straight into his arms. They sank down, right at the bottom of the stairs. Tears running down her cheeks and nose, Lane cried. It wasn't even an option to speak yet.

Daniel held his shaking wife, not knowing what to do or say. He'd never seen Lane like this, he couldn't even remember her crying at all. She'd been a hard and strong person ever since he met her, seven years ago, and maybe even before that. Probably actually. He hadn't liked her, the first time they met, but gradually, after working together on a stressful project that involved a new chain of hotels, they clicked. He could even remember the exact moment he had realized what she meant to him.

_May 2nd, 2008, Paris, France._

_Daniel ran his fingers through his hair, making the mess even worse, but he didn't notice. "Oui, Madame, I know where you're coming from ... no ... I've ... Now listen to me! I've said this three times before, I wish we would be able to finish this project on time and I know I promised we were not like other contractors, but I can't help the fact that it's flu-season ... Yes ... yes, I promise, next season, they'll all have had their shots."_

_He clicked his phone shut and sighed. Half of his crew was at home, in bed, and he'd been working for more than sixty hours every week for the last month. Honestly, he wasn't so keen on working with Adrienne anymore. He sat down, pouring himself a cup of coffee, but when he raised the mug to his mouth to drink, he realized it had gone stonecold. Swearing under his breath he stood up. No time to make some new. _

_Lane slid through the sheets of plastic, getting covered in dust, and made her way through to the bathroom in what was supposed to be the lobby-area. Thankfully, it was one of the rooms they'd finished first, she thought, straightening her hair in front of the temporary simple mirror. She wiped the dust of her shoulders and back and checked her appearance again. Why was she even making such an effort, she thought, blushing. It wasn't like he had made an effort, trying to impress her or whatever, it was just ... She smiled. It was just that he was perfect. Opening her bag again, checking that the fresh coffee and bagels were really in there, she suddenly felt uncomfortable. What if he wasn't in to her? _

_A final brushing made sure the last of the dust was safely on the ground instead of on her clothes and she took a deep breath. Clambering over pallets of building materials, she walked towards the noise and smiled. "Coffee, anyone?" she asked._

_Daniel looked up, wiped his dusty hands on his pants and smiled._

_"You're a true saviour," he breathed, looking at Lane, whose expression had changed in a moment._

_"Oh ... I thought Olivier was still around. You on your own?" Lane asked, heavily disappointed. _

_"I'm afraid so," he said, apologetically. She truly was gorgeous, it dawned on him, as he felt irritation bubbling up after hearing the name Olivier. It didn't make sense, why would he suddenly feel this way about someone, even though she was so obviously into one of his crew-members? He was about to say she could find him at home, in bed, with the flu, but kept his mouth shut. He was not going to give her the opportunity of walking out of here right now, nursing the man she liked into loving her back._

Lane had cried the last of her tears, even though she felt sure she'd have refilled her supplies by morning, and looked up into Daniel's concerned eyes. She stroked a loose strand of hair out of his eyes and smiled.

"Can we go upstairs? I have so much to tell you, but we need to pack, too."


	11. Rebuilding Burnt Bridges, part III

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

**Rebuilding Burnt Bridges, part III**

March 13th 2015, Newark Airport, New Jersey, United States.

Biting her nails, Lane waited for the first suitcases to arrive. Why hadn't she stuck to her usual business-trip routine? She always made sure she only had a small suitcase, one which would easily fit in the compartments above the seats, and therefore not having to wait at the airport.

This time, however, she packed both of their large suitcases, filling them like she wasn't going to come back. Daniels hand slipped into hers, squeezing it softly.

Squeezing his wife's hand, Daniel thought for a moment. So much was happening, it was overwhelming. After all these years of silence and talking about anything but her history in Stars Hollow - the name of her hometown, a fact he had only found out when they decided to get married and needed birth certificates - she had told him everything, about her mother, about the Gilmores, about her first real boyfriend and eventually leaving for Europe. And staying there. He felt exhilarated and frightened at the same time, finally knowing everything about the woman he loved, but now sharing the burden too. Sure, it was what marriage was supposed to be all about - for better or for worse - but it was overwhelming. The only word he could find to describe it.

As Daniel grabbed their suitcases from the baggage belt, Lane's eyes searched for a familiar pair of eyes, only to be faced with a different pair, much more familiar. Only yesterday, she spoke to Lorelai on the phone, who had been strangely warm to her, even after all this time. Maybe because she knew what it was to break away from a family and then, in a way, coming back. She had been kind enough to offer them a lift home, since she had to be in New York anyway and didn't mind the drive into New Jersey. Only the pair of eyes weren't Lorelai's electric blue eyes, it were the younger ones of her daughter. The one Lane had been afraid to contact, after everything that had happened.

_May 1st, 2005, Stars Hollow, Connecticut, United States._

_Feeling a warm hand on her shoulders, Rory Gilmore looked up at her mother. _

_"I have no idea what else there is, mom, no idea. She just doesn't seem to care." _

_Shaking her head, she stared out of the window of her dormroom. _

_"I mean, all I did today was call her, asking how she was doing, if she needed anything from here, something I could send over ... and then she just hung up on me after shouting that she wasn't going to change her mind. And that I should quit calling her." _

_A tear formed in the corner of her eyes and slowly ran down over her cheek. Rory didn't have a clue anymore what to do next. She'd tried to convince Lane to stay, and then when that didn't work, she asked her to just come back once, say a proper goodbye to everyone and then leave without burning all her bridges behind her. That was a couple of weeks ago, and ofcourse, it didn't work. Rory convinced herself that this was something Lane had to do, after all these years of feeling locked up, not being able to express herself, she had finally found a job and a city that felt like home. It was something that made sense, enough to keep Rory going at least. _

_After a couple of e-mails and some text-messages, she had finally plucked up enough courage to call her friend, and offer a truce through an offer of help. Lane had bluntly kicked it aside, and with that giving their friendship the final blow._

_"Enough," Rory said, looking Lorelai in the eye._

_"The next move should be hers, not mine." _

_Tears streamed down her face, not yet being able to feel comforted by the arms of her mother that quickly embraced her shaking body._

Lane looked over her shoulder, catching sight of Daniel, who nodded reassuringly. You can do this Lane, she thought to herself. Just make the moves, pull up your legs, put one foot in front of the other and be grateful that Rory made the first step after all, after all that time. Her stomach lurched when she thought of how cruel she had ended the relationship, trying to block the thought of her messed up self at 19, clueless and angry at the world.

_Lane hung up with a clenched jaw and balled her fists. She had had enough of perfect Rory, enough of the beautiful, innocent face, judging her. She picked up the receiver again, just to be able to slam it down a second time. This was it, she thought with satisfaction, she had started over. Looking around her new, tiny studio, she felt proud and unconsciously decided to ignore the whispering voice in the back of her mind, that had a tinge of sadness to it. 'What did you do, Lane? What did you do?'_

Two women of almost thirty years old approached each other cautiously, eyeing each other up before even daring to smile. Lane looked at Rory, this grown up person, all different now. Her hair was longer than she remembered, fell in casual curls over shoulders, and her air was more confident than it had been. But in the midst of all that, the same blue eyes looked at her. Wiser maybe, yes, but even though the same.

Feeling chilled inside, Rory looked at her long lost friend, suddenly not so sure of her decisions anymore. She shouldn't have come here, she should've just let Lorelai go get her and deal with her later. At the funeral. The woman opposite her was a stranger, not the Lane she had known all through her childhood. Her hair was cut in a short and sharp bobline, tiny pearls shining in her earlobes. She looked businesslike, tough even, and composed. Nothing like the chaotic and spontaneous girl she had left behind in Amsterdam, all that time ago. But when she looked up, into her eyes, it was Lane again. Brown and sparkling, even though they hinted at grief and sadness.

Lane dropped her purse on the floor and almost ran the last inches toward Rory. Her eyes welled up.

"I'm so sorry."


	12. Old Habits Die Hard

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

**12. Old Habits Die Hard**

March 14th 2015, New York, New York, United States.

Lane lay on her side, feeling hot under the thick covers and with the warmth of her husband. She'd been staring at the dancing lights on the wall next to the window, that seeped through the gaps in the curtains. Careful not to wake Daniel, she slid out from under the covers and tiptoed to the window. Poking her head through the small gap, she let her eyes slowly adjust to the twilight. Other than a flashing sign at the other end of the street, there was no movement. Who knew New York could be this quiet? It had been ages since she'd been here, and she'd only really seen the flashy, crowded-with-tourists areas. Greenwich Village was almost tranquil.

Letting the curtains fall back into place, Lane looked around the room. It was a welcoming guestroom, with a comfortable bed, squishy armchairs and more than enough room for their suitcases. Yesterday at the airport, the two women had stared at each other for what seemed like hours, but was really only three minutes, according to Daniel. Rory had offered them a place to stay.

"Honestly, I have more space than I could ever need. And I couldn't let you drive all the way up to Stars Hollow, not now. Let's at least wait until tomorrow, then I can come with you and we can take my car." Only her eyes hinted at a pain behind the words of kindness she uttered.

Despite the awkwardness that still lingered between them, Rory had hugged Lane softly and ushered her to the parking lot. The drive to her spacious place in the Village had been quiet, disturbed only by the occasional exclamations from Daniel's mouth, who had never been to New York before. Rory smiled, but Lane kept quiet and stared out of the carwindow. It couldn't be this easy, she thought to herself, not after all these years. She kept her guard up, despite wanting to reconcile with her former friend.

Lane got back into bed, snuggling up to Daniel's warm body. It was almost morning.

_January 12th 1996, Stars Hollow, Connecticut, United States._

_'Rory? Rory? Are you up?' Lane was jumping up and down impatiently. She looked out of the garden again and was calmed a little. It was still there. Hearing sounds upstairs, she decided to take more fierce measures. She started to shake the sleeping body of her best friend._

_'What? No! I'm taking the chickens with me!' a still half asleep Rory shouted out._

_Lane wondered what it could be that she was dreaming. Dragging the covers to the floor, Rory finally woke up. _

_The image of her mother crying over an official looking letter came back into focus and Lane quickly shook it off. She didn't understand it, and as her mother thought her to young for an explanation, she decided to ignore it altogether. 'Come on! It's the first snow of the year and Lorelai's already up!' Putting on dozens of layers of clothing, the girls ran to the frontdoor where Lorelai was already waiting with hats and gloves. The sad feeling that had lead to the sleepover started to flow away. You could never stay sad for long when you had Lorelai and snow at the same place and the same time._

An alarmclock sounded in the background and Lane decided to leave the warmth of her bed for what it was. Time for something else, something that used to be so easy. Talk to Rory. About everything.

She put on a robe and tiptoed out of the room. No need to wake up Daniel, especially not after all the drama he was suddenly faced with. A soft orange light underneath the bedroomdoor told Lane that Rory was up. She took a deep breath, knocked and entered.

Rory looked up. She had been awake most of the night, thinking about the past and of ways to begin a conversation, or actually, the conversation. They needed to sort this out, because despite their reunion and polite hug, there was still a lingering awkwardness. Which was something that she'd expected, after all these years, but, since she was not the woman to hold grudges, she wanted to get out of the way as soon as possible. Sure, she had been angry at first, when all of this happened. But as time passed by, the anger flowed away and all that she was left with, was regret. And it seemed like Lane was left in quite the same state, Rory thought, thinking back to the day before at the airport, when her friend said those words.

'I'm so sorry.'

'Morning, Lane. Did you sleep okay?' she asked, in a quiet tone.

'I did. You have the most amazing guestroom. Daniel's still out, I don't think an explosion would even wake him up right now.' Lane sat down on the side of the bed and took a deep breath, once again.

'I don't know where to begin exactly, but I want to fix this. Fix us. It's been too long, and I know it was my fault, my being stubborn, and maybe I don't even earn your trust again ...'

A few hours passed, and when Daniel finally woke up, he found his wife and Rory softly giggling in bed, lying side by side, almost completely covered in blankets


	13. Awkward Silences

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

**13. Awkward Silences**

March 16th 2015, Paris, France.

Adrienne was frantically looking through a stack of paperwork, but the document she was looking for was nowhere to be found. The only option now was to call Lane, something she really didn't want to do. Funerals were private, and not a time for discussing work. She sighed and was delighted when the phone rang. A distraction was always welcome, especially when she was in the midst of a hard decision.

'Hôtel des Anges, Adrienne Gilles speaking,' she said with a polite, professional tone. A smile spread over her face. 'You're amazing, do you know that? I was just thinking about you!'

_September 3rd 2005, Amsterdam, the Netherlands._

_Lane bit her lip, trying to keep out of the way as she followed Adrienne and the board of directors of Hôtel des Anges around the newly furnished hotel. They hadn't spoken a word, but merely nodded in interest or took notes. The suspense was killing her. This was the first hotel she'd truly managed to set up on her own, and today she could either fail or succeed. She was, ofcourse, hoping for the latter, but wasn't sure of anything anymore. The only reason she was here in the first place, was because Adrienne had taken a liking to her and saw potential. God, she hoped she wouldn't disappoint her._

_Wandering around the lobby, which was also the last part of the tour, Lane tried to form an objective opinion. She couldn't do it. Even if the board hated it, she couldn't help but feel proud of the very first thing she had handled herself. Ofcourse, she'd had help, but hired help, people that answered to her._

_Finally, Adrienne turned around and smiled. She nodded to the president of the board. 'Très bien, mademoiselle, très bien,' he said with a smile that also suggested approval._

Lane hung up, relieved. After relocating the document that Adrienne was looking for, she asked for some time off, two weeks to be precise. Her boss had been great, not hesitating to give her all the time she needed. She sighed, mentally crossing of the first point on her list. Unfortunately, it wasn't the one she dreaded the most. No, that one was quickly approaching in the form of the funeral, and before that: facing Stars Hollow.

The drive from New York didn't take long, at least not long enough for Lane. She didn't feel prepared to see everyone at once. Rory picked up the signal apparently, because she directed Daniel, who was driving, to a road that lead around the town and towards Lorelai's house, instead of passing through it.

Lorelai was already standing on the porch, waiting for them to arrive. A broad smile appeared on her face when she saw the the car approaching. She didn't seem to have aged much over the last ten years. The only sign of the ten years that had passed were the grey streaks in her darkbrown hair. Lane stepped out of the car and before she knew it, found herself enveloped in a big hug.

'Good to see you, Lane. About time, too,' Lorelai said, with a wink. She let go of Lane and walked towards Daniel, who was unloading their suitcases. She looked over her shoulder to Lane, and mouthed with a look of approval: 'good taste!'.

March 17th 2015, Stars Hollow, Connecticut, United States.

The evening had passed quietly, with take-out food from Al's and a couple of movies. Lane was thankful that noone else had shown up yet, but when she woke up the following morning, she felt a tight knot in her stomach. She had to face everyone eventually, and Lorelai was not an indicator for the rest of the town. Once you hurt Rory, apparently you hurt the whole population of Stars Hollow, and that was exactly what Lane had done.

She got dressed slowly, and decided to go out immediately, get some breakfast in town. Avoiding would be a bad decision anyway and didn't they say that the quickest way was the least painful? Leaving Daniel in the kitchen with Rory, she headed out with a firm pace. Her mind wandered to the upcoming funeral and the tears welled up again. But besides the sadness a curiosity made its way up to her thoughts. What about papa?

_July 6th 1990, Stars Hollow, Connecticut, United States._

_Lane woke up in the middle of the night, the nightmare still lingering in her little body. She climbed out of bed and tiptoed to her parents' room. It was empty. Confused, Lane walked downstairs where a soft light peeked out from under the kitchen door. _

_'Mama?' she asked, almost whispering._

_She pushed open the door further and saw her mother, her face wet with tears, staring out of the window. She caautiously approached, not daring to climb on her mother's lap. Finally, she was lifted of the ground, enveloped in a shaking hug._

_'Where's papa?' Lane asked in an anxious voice._

_Her mother stayed silent for a long time. She buried her face in the hairs of her little girl and breathed in deeply. Soundless tears soaked the black strands of Lane's hair. At last, she spoke._

_'I don't know, Lane. But I'm afraid he's not coming home._

She had never seen or heard from him since, except for the letter a couple of years later, requesting an official divorce. Everything had changed after papa left. Her mother got through it by immersing herself in religion, and pulling her daughter along. Life had never been that way, filled with rules and outlined by restrictions.

Sighing deeply, Lane continued into the town. The first familar face was the one that belonged to Miss Patty, who stared at her with an open mouth in an awkward silence, then smiled and eventually just grabbed her and gave her a hug.

'I'm so sorry about your mom, dear, I really am. Good that you came back. Don't you do that again.'

A shiver of relief went through her spine. If Miss Patty was this forgiving, she could definitely face up to the rest of the town. With much more confidence, she walked into Luke's.

Her afternoon was filled with awkwardness, condoleances, then familiarity and even some people taking advantage of the fact that she had some making up to do. Taylor made her bag groceries for almost an hour before he let her go, still looking at her with furious shakes of his head.

_March 30th 2005, Amsterdam, the Netherlands._

_Tapping her fingers on the table next to the phone, Lane waited for the rant to end. Somehow this wasn't what she'd expected. _

_'I thought you would be glad to get rid of me like this! Honestly, I don't know what you expect of me anymore. They do have churches around here, you know? No, mama, I will not ... What? ( ... ) Fine. I give up. No, you can't convince me.'_

_Her hands shaking with fury, she hung up. Why did she respond like this? Why did everyone for that matter? Was it so hard to understand that Lane wanted to stay where she was? Where people appreciated her work, her opinion? _

At the end of the day, she felt more welcome than she'd expected, but still not as relaxed as she used to feel. Her mom's death had done much more damage than she had anticipated. Out of sight hadn't meant out of heart. Oh, how she wished she had done so many things differently.


	14. A Morbid Reunion

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

**14. A Morbid Reunion**

March 18th 2015, Stars Hollow, Connecticut, United States.

The relief from being accepted back into town had only just kicked in, when it was brutally thrown aside. It was morning again, the morning of the funeral. Daniel and Lane got dressed in silence, not knowing how to act or what to say.

She ate breakfast with a sigh that day, not even noticing the effort Lorelai had made of actually getting breakfast instead of eating out. The atmosphere was tense, unbearable almost, when the clock finally struck 10. Time to go.

The church was packed. The whole town had come, even though many of them had complained every once in a while about the harsh Mrs. Kim, who had only seemed to become stricter and colder over the years. Soft whispers sounded when Lane and Daniel entered the church, that ended only when the first music began to play. Lane grabbed Daniel's hand and he squeezed softly. She closed her eyes.

_October 2nd 1996, Stars Hollow, Connecticut, United States._

_"Quiet, Lane," mama Kim said, in a tone that gave away her actual feelings. Lane looked up at her mother, seeing the calmness that spread over her face when the music continued and reached it's highest point._

_It seemed to be the only thing that could calm her mother, lately. Not wanting or daring to disturb her more, Lane tiptoed out of the room, through the store and out of the house. _

_The soft afternoon sunlight warmed her face when she walked the familiar road to the Gilmore house. No need to explain now, mama would be in another place for hours._

A warm hand was placed on her shoulder, and without looking up, Lane felt it was Rory.

"I'm glad you're here with me," she said, not even daring to think about what would have happened if they hadn't made up.

The ceremony went by in a rush of tears and music. When they all stood up to follow the casket out to the graveyard, a dark figure slipped out through a door on the side. Lane looked up in wonder and only when she saw another glimpse of him when they were outside, she made the connection. Papa.

She was distracted a moment later when a familiar cough sounded just behind her. She spun around and was caught off guard when a tall and surprisingly mature Dave Rygalski smiled at her. "How ... how did you know?"

"I still talk to Rory sometimes," he said in apologetic voice.

"She mailed me a couple of days ago."

Concerned eyes scanned Lane's face.

"How are you holding up?"

"Fine. Not as fine as I would have expected a couple of months ago, but things are different now." She sighed. She looked up again, amazed at the maturity of his face.

The afternoon went by quickly. Lane introduced Daniel to Dave, leaving the two deeply in conversation while she wandered off, through the crowd. They were in her mother's house, drinking tea and eating the rockhard cookies that mama had always made.

There still hung a faint smell of her childhood, although slightly lessened by age and outweighed by the dusty air that was caused by weeks of closed windows. Lane ended up in the store, her hands touching the antique furniture, and then finding her way onto the porch.

She sat down on the top stair and looked out over the street. A sigh escaped from her mouth and for a minute she closed her eyes. The mailman came by, whistling a cheery tune and filled their mailbox. She let him pass by and then walked over, her curiosity getting the better of her.

It was a letter for her, an unfamiliar handwriting that brought it's condolences and an inquiry as to her new address. Just as she was about to throw the card out, not feeling very welcoming to strangers at that time, she read the name at the bottom again. This time it sank in. Ian Carmichael.


	15. Old Potentials

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

**Story: **After Lane has finally left her controlled life at her mom's, she decides to take on the world. And, from Chapter 9 onwards: Fastforwarding ten years, look what the future brought Lane ...

**Rating: **T

**15. Old Potentials**

April 2nd 2015, Stars Hollow, Connecticut, United States.

A couple of weeks had passed since the day of her mothers funeral. Life around Lane seemed to continue in the old way, everyday chores needed to be done and happy laughter sounded constantly, even in her presence. Before, they had been quiet and careful around her, but now the world seemed to firmly push her into moving on. They'd stayed at the Gilmore house for a week and after that moved into Kim's Antiques. It was a bit eerie, but they both felt they couldn't intrude any longer. Besides, there was a lot of sorting that needed to be done.

Daniel had taken the time off work to get to know her old friends, and they got on amazingly well. To be honest, the closeness that had formed between her husband and her old boyfriend was disturbing. Cute, but disturbing. She hadn't paid too much attention though, focusing more on renewing her relationship with Rory, who had taken a two week leave after the funeral, a chance she couldn't let slide. The time had passed quickly, and last weekend, she had seen Rory off to New York, in a blur of tears.

The last few days, Daniel had slowly brought up the subject of flying back to Cannes. He was needed back at work now, they were happy to give him these three weeks, but right now, more time wasn't an option.

"And ..." Daniel took a deep breath. "I spoke to Adrienne as well. You're needed, too."

"What?" Lane's head shot up. "Why? Did she call you? ... She didn't, did she? You called her! Daniel, this is my job, my career, this has _nothing_ to do with you!" Her eyes shot flames.

"Lanie, I didn't mean ... I just think it's time to go home." Daniel laid his hand on her shoulder, but she shrugged it off, backing away from him.

"You had absolutely no right. No right at all," she muttered.

Before he knew it, she was out the room and out of the door.

_March 28th 2015, Hartford, Connecticut, United States._

_Lane stared at her shoppinglist. Cardboard boxes, magic markers and some brown tape. Maybe a pair of scissors. She wrecked her brain for clues if there were any at home, but she had no idea. Ah well, one can never have too many scissors, right?Especially not when you had to move things across town or maybe even across the globe._

_She pushed open the door, surprised by the modern little tune the doorbells played. She wandered through the aisles, gathering the items in her arms when she bumped into someone. A tall someone. A someone with striking green eyes and messy, dark blonde hair._

_"Ian Carmichael?" she asked, in a sarcastic voice. Even though his appearance threw her off balance, she thought this was a little too much of a coincidence. First the letter, or card really, considering the amount of words he'd used, and now this? Sure, purely coincidental._

_"Lane," he stammered. This was not going as planned, at all. When he'd heard about her mother in the Hartford paper, he figured that she would come home. From wherever. He had no idea where she ended up after that trip to Europe, since they lost touch almost immediately and he had only spoken to Rory once. Suddenly, Ian felt like a stalker. He hadn't seen this girl in over ten years and still, she dominated most of his daydreams. _

_"So, how about that letter then?" she asked him, willing him to get his explanation over and done with, so she could get this packing done. It was hard enough as it was, sorting her mothers things, she couldn't use any delays. _

_"Well, it's like I wrote. I read the obituary a couple of weeks ago, and I ... I don't know. I wanted to let you know that I was thinking of you." In a sympathic way, he meant to add, but held back those words just in time. If he actually said them, it would seem even more suspicious. She probably wouldn't even considered it to be romantic thinking._

_"Thanks, Ian. I appreciate it. I must say that I was surprised, after all these years." _

_They ended up having coffee, and a pretty good conversation. A fluttery feeling had mastered her stomach since then, even though she blamed grief and insecurity about the future. Text messages followed, and even a couple of calls. Lane even welcomed the Daniel & Dave outings, being able to talk in peace._

_She hadn't told Daniel._

Taking deep breaths and big steps, Lane found herself not getting less angry, but even more so than before. Why did she get so worked up over this? It wasn't like Daniel was some interfering stranger, he was her husband!

Still, she felt infuriated. Lane found herself at the bridge and sat down after kicking off her shoes. It was unusually warm for the time of year and she dipped her toes in the water. The water slightly relaxed her and cleared her mind a bit. The truth was that she wasn't up to going back to Cannes, not yet. She felt like she was making up for all those rushed years here, in the warm atmosphere that Stars Hollow oozed over it's inhabitants. And then there was Ian. A fluttery feeling took over her stomach. She quickly shook it off, this was not the point, not at this time. She wanted to stay here, at least for a couple more weeks, to relax. Maybe even do some yoga, Rory was definitely raving about it. Lane couldn't imagine that Adrienne would disagree. She had always been the one that worried about Lane's health, urging her to take more personal time. The only difficulty right now was Daniel. Should she tell him? _Could_ she tell him? And if she would, what the hell was she going to say? Something told her that he wasn't going to understand.


	16. Shattered Dreams

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

**Story: **After Lane has finally left her controlled life at her mom's, she decides to take on the world. And, from Chapter 9 onwards: Fastforwarding ten years, look what the future brought Lane ...

**Rating: **T

**16. Shattered Dreams**

April 5th 2015, Stars Hollow, Connecticut, United States.

The last of her mother's things were packed and Lane stood next to the cardboard boxes, feeling helpless all of the sudden. She stared out of the window, looking out on the thunderstorm that had been going on for the last hour or so. A truck was coming in half an hour, to pick up the last things that were either going into storage or with them to France.

She put her cheek against the blurry window, closing her eyes. They were going back to France that evening, a trip that she should have welcomed, but it only filled her with despair. Her life had been turned upside down the last month and she didn't know how to put it back the way it had been before.

Her mother had visited her dreams every night for the past week. She spoke to her, but to Lane's utter frustration no sound came from her lips. Daniel slept like a baby next to her, not waking up to her restless tossing and turning, not even noticing anything about her mood in the mornings. He'd gone to say goodbye to his newfound friends in town, taking Luke and Dave for a last fishing trip. The rain didn't seem to bother them.

Lane felt alone, with Rory hard at work in New York, and not able to connect with Lorelai the way she had been able to do in the years before she left for France. Her friend's mother wouldn't understand what she was going through, especially since she had come to adore Daniel. Only Ian seemed to understand, but well, he was part of the thing she was going through. Where would this lead?

_April 3rd 2015, Hartford, Connecticut, United States. _

_Lane lay back down, breathing fast and heavily. She buried her face in his hair, breathing in his warm scent. His fingers ran softly over her hips and tickled her sides. She closed her eyes again, trying to hold back the upcoming tears. She felt exhilarated and heartbroken at the same time. Unconvinced, but firm, she pushed his hands away. _

_"No, Ian. Don't," she whispered, almost inaudible. "I have to go."_

_She sat up, ignoring the hurt silence that surrounded him, and gathered her clothes. She dressed in a haze, having to start over twice because of her incoherent thoughts. What was she doing? Why was she here?_

_"It's Daniel's fault," a continuous voice in the back of her mind said, feeding on the butterflies in her stomach and the doubts in her brain. "Has he been paying attention to you? Does he notice the state you're in? Hell, does he notice you at all?" Lane started to hum, louder by the minute, drowning out the voice and her own thoughts. This was ridiculous. She was not going to blame anyone but herself._

_"You know that this is all Daniel's fault, don't you?" _

_Lane was shocked by Ian's arrogant and spoiled tone. She shook off the hand that he had laid on her shoulder and walked away in anger._

_"No way you are going to do this, Ian. I'm not asking you to make decisions for me. Mind your own business. This has nothing to do with you." Now what did this remember her off? She was taken aback by the sudden resemblance. She needed to get out of here, now._

Tears of regret filled up her eyes, rolled down her cheeks and even found their way down to her collar bones. The door opened downstairs and she quickly wiped her face dry.

Laughter filled the hallway, the voices of Daniel and Dave said goodbye to Luke. She could hear their boots splashing through the hallway and into the kitchen. She ran her fingers through her hair, took a deep breath and dashed off the stairs. No need for them to notice anything right now.

"Hey Lanie," her husband said, planting a kiss on her forehead, while continuing to pour the last beers into a couple of glasses. "You want one too, right?"

She nodded, missing the curious look Dave gave her. He looked at her collarbones, a salty trail still visible from just before. He walked over and stopped Daniel from pouring a third glass. "No need, pal, I think I gotta go home now. The weather's only getting worse."

He slid back into his soaked coat and squeezed Lane's shoulder.

"Have a safe trip, you guys. And don't be a stranger."

With that, he closed the door and ran over to his car. Lane stared at her beer, not daring to look at Daniel. She needed to tell him. If she wouldn't do it right now, she'd never find the courage again. Not in France. She'd tell herself that it wasn't important anymore, everything had happened on another continent, for heaven's sake. No, she should tell him now.

Daniel took a swig from the bottle, not even bothering with the glass anymore.

"My God, I'm beat. Dave and me, we didn't even catch anything. Danes did though, lucky guy." He sniggered. It had taken no time for them to lose the Luke and transform him into the third D, Danes.

"I need to talk to you."

_August 24th 2010, Paris, France._

_"For better or for worse, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."_

_Lane looked up into the warm eyes of her husband to be. She couldn't believe she was going to marry the love of her life. The words of the minister became one with the soft murmur of the crowd. She took in his features once more, trying to imprint them in her mind, not ever wanting to lose this sight or the feelings it was connected with._

_A soft cough almost made her jump. Daniel nudged her on, smiling._

_"I do!" she exclaimed, turning bright red. _

_"I now pronounce you, husband and wife. You may kiss the bride."_

_Daniel bent over to kiss her, taking her in his arms. She felt so secure there, sure she had made the right decision, sure she would never want to be without him, would never fall out of love. He would never leave her._

Daniel stood in silence, his back turned to her. She felt her heart beating fast, so fast that if she wasn't in this situation, she would have been sure she was having a heart-attack. He still made no sound, it was killing her.

Without saying a word, he walked over to the kitchen table, picking up their tickets to Cannes and without even looking at her, he tore one of them in half.

Lane watched the pink and white paper flutter to the wooden floor, while he calmly walked past her, upstairs and back down again with his suitcases. When he reached the door, Daniel turned around, finally facing her. She'd never seen his eyes that cold.

"Don't come home."


	17. A MakeBelief Romance

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

The lines by Dorothy Parker are wholly creditable to "The Portable Dorothy Parker".

**Story:** After Lane has finally left her controlled life at her mom's, she decides to take on the world. From Chapter 9 onwards: Fastforwarding ten years, look what the future brought Lane.

**Rating:** T

**17. A Make-Belief Romance**

April 7th 2015, Stars Hollow, Connecticut, United States.

Lane folded her knees under her chin and closed her eyes, trying to shut out the world around her for what seemed the twentieth time that day. The doorbell had rung twice that morning, signalling the arrival of the movers. She'd crept even deeper under the covers, wishing them to go away, which they did, in the end.

It could wait. Everything could. She had never thought Daniel would have responded the way he did. She figured she had done good by telling him, confiding in him. That he would understand, be upset ofcourse, but that he would understand. But now ... Everything was ruined. And it was her own, stupid fault. She blocked out every single thought that even hinted at the slightest possibility of Ian's active involvement or Daniel's negligence of her for the weeks prior to what happened. She had no use for them.

After more than a day of hiding under the covers, only leaving them to go to the bathroom and gulping down some water, Lane stood up. She made herself as presentable as she could and phoned the movers again. It was time to leave this house, she thought to herself, not make more miserable memories in it.

_April 8th 2015, Hartford, Connecticut, United States._

_It seemed like all they ever did together was share a bed. Words never sounded, probably because everything they said mounted to a discussion and one of them leaving. Daniel had only left the day before, and even though it broke her heart, here she was. Ian's fingers slightly tickled her stomach and a rush of pleasure shot through her body._

_"So, you and him ... " Ian started slowly. "Are you getting a divorce?" _

_Lane looked at him in horror. A divorce? It hadn't even crossed her mind, even though it was probably not even that strange a thought. Maybe it was what Daniel wanted. But was it what she wanted? She knew that she was the one that cheated, but this affair, or whatever it was, didn't feel like something she would divorce over._

_"I don't know, Ian. I don't want to talk about this. Not with you." She sighed, annoyed with the childish manner with which Ian had started to speak lately. Without even looking at him, she knew he had a disappointed look in his eyes. She got up. _

April 12th 2015, New York, New York, United States.

Lane looked around her, dragging her bags with her while she scanned the crowd for the face of her friend. It felt good to be out of Stars Hollow, away from the scene of crime, as she had taken to calling it. She hadn't even told Ian she was leaving, not wanting to risk a fight. She felt a surge of guilt when she thought of him. This was truly her fault. She'd not only been dishonest with Daniel, she had been with Ian as well. Used him to make herself feel better, which eventually didn't even work. It was a silly, make-belief romance. Just because she'd felt attracted to him all those years ago, Lane had just plunged right in. A sigh escaped her mouth.

"Lane?" A healthy and happy looking Rory waved at her furiously and motioned her over towards the parking lot. Lane managed a smile. At least she was safe now, not near any man to steer her off course.

Her phone rang, the sound hardly penetrating the thick canvas of her bag. She ignored it. It could be only one of two people, both of whom she couldn't face up to talking to right now.

April 28th 2015, New York, New York, United States.

Rory and Lane were having breakfast at a nearby diner and the atmosphere had all of the sudden changed from warm and comfortable, to icy and awkward. Rory brought up Daniel.

They'd managed to tiptoe or even sometimes run around the subject, avoiding it almost without noticing. But more than two weeks had passed, and something needed to be said. Not that Lane was ready to admit that, but Rory, however, was. They just gulped down their coffee and were now staring outside, through the rain that slashed down the windows.

"So. When are you planning to go back?" Rory asked, bluntly.

Lane bit her lip, not daring to confess that she hadn't planned a date yet, nor thought of going back at all. This felt like a new life, here in New York, their friendship renewed and more intimate than it had ever been. They'd never shared a house before, and Lane felt regret when she thought of what could've happened when she wouldn't have stayed in France all those years ago.

"Look, I'm not trying to make you do things you don't want to do, but is this really fair on Daniel? I don't think so. I know that he said you shouldn't come home, but that was when you were in a fight. He's probably come to his senses right about now, or maybe even a couple of weeks ago. You guys should talk about this." Rory bit down into her bagel, a hint that Lane should reply right about now.

Lane ignored the hint, frustrated by the accurate words of her friend. It all sounded so simple, going back to Cannes, talking things through with Daniel, making it all better and live the fairytale again. Hell, even throw in a nice family home, a couple of kids, a dog. Her becoming a full-time mom, Daniel the weekend dad. Conservative but nice, she thought, sarcastically.

"If you're thinking about Ian right now, don't. Unless you actually want to go through with him, which I'm sensing you don't. Remember those lines by Dorothy Parker I read to you once? _By the time you swear you're his / Shivering and sighing / And he swears his passion is / Infinite, undying - / Lady, make a note of this/ One of you is lying._ I think she probably meant that the guy was lying, although you never truly know with her. In your case, the deceiver would be you." Rory was trying to shock Lane into saying something, which, this time, worked.

"That's not true," she silently spoke, feeling even worse about herself than she had before. "I never lied to Ian, I never told him I was his, nor that I loved him."

"Then what in God's name were you doing with him? Putting everything you had in marriage at stake like that? If you loved him, it would have at least made some sense, but this whole thing just comes across as some teenage rebellion, you trying to push the boundaries, seeing how far you can go." Rory took another bite, while trying to breathe at the same time, causing a splutter of crumbs and a strange cough that momentarily paused the discussion.

Lane slapped her friend on the back, waiting for the coughing to pass, granting herself time to think of a half decent answer. She was angry at herself too, for messing up everything she had worked for for years, in just a matter of weeks.

"I don't know what it was, but when my mom died, everything just turned upside down. I came back here, something I'd promised myself to avoid at all costs, but I did it anyway. Then there was this strange feeling when I got that letter."

She stared out of the window, remembering the feelings she had when she read Ian's name. It brought back the only regret she felt when she first left for Europe, when she'd rushed to Yale to say goodbye to Rory, and ran into the cutest guy she'd met since Dave left for California. Lane had thought about Ian for months, even when she'd traveled through the Netherlands with Adrienne and finally settled in Cannes. He had been a lingering childhood memory, if you could call it childhood. It did feel like that, like it was ages ago, instead of ten years.

When she ran into him in Hartford, butterflies danced around in her stomach, bringing back the feelings he had brought up in her all that time ago. Did she just do it for old time's sake? It seemed so. For a time, Daniel disappeared from her thoughts, from her history even, when she was back with old friends and in her old surroundings. It was like France never happened.

Rory looked at her, questioning. Lane quickly recounted her ponderings, feeling teary when she did so. She felt like such an ignorant little girl, rebellion was indeed what she was doing.

"I'll go home," she said.


	18. Resurfacing

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

**Story: **After Lane has finally left her controlled life at her mom's, she decides to take on the world. From Chapter 9 onwards: Fastforwarding ten years, look what the future brought Lane.

**Rating:** T

**18. Resurfacing**

May 1st 2015, La Guardia Airport, New York, United States.

The airport was overflowing with people. It was hard to imagine that there were three big airports in and near New York, and that they all were so enormous and crowded. Lane stood a little to the side of the pathway, her bags just checked in and only holding on to her small bag of refreshments and her pillow. She was being silly, she knew that, but she could do with some sleep and her own pillow made it easier, even on a plane.

Rory was getting her her last cup of American coffee, which Lane was too polite to turn down - she preferred coffee in France, where, since they'd discovered the quality of it, served Italian coffee almost everywhere. She shuddered at the thought of the so-called tall Americanas, which were simply bad espressos with an added gulp of boiling water.

Lorelai was standing next to her, leaning to the wall comfortably, and reading her thoughts. That's what it felt like, at least. The older Gilmore girl had always been able to do that, maybe even better than Rory could, at times. Lane figured it had something to do with their bad relationships with their parents, something Rory, fortunately for her, lacked.

"You doin' okay, kid?" Lorelai said, an affectionate look in her eyes.

Lane couldn't help but smile. Kid, that was a term she hadn't heard in a long time. At least not used to refer to herself.

"I think so," she said, avoiding eye-contact. "I'm just a bit scared of what I'll find at home. It's time to resurface, I know that, but ... I'm hoping for a cute and cuddly reunion, but I'm guessing that's not on the program just yet. And the fact is, I'm getting used to the friendly back-up you guys give me here. Even though you don't always agree with me, I've got a place to go to, to either cry or just shout at noone in particular," Lane whispered, looking up at Lorelai with moist eyes. She suddenly realized that she didn't really have friends at home, apart from Daniel. And he was not the one she could fall back on, now. "You two were always my safe haven."

_October 26th 2003, Stars Hollow, Connecticut, United States._

_It was the coldest autumnday yet, and Lane was shivering in her light jacket. She hugged her knees a bit tighter, looking out at the street, hoping to see either a familiar yellow backpack or a tattered Jeep. The road was empty, though, even the lights at Babette's weren't on._

_The porch was dimly lit by the one light that actually worked, and Lane was just starting to feel truly miserable, when the Jeep pulled up. A dishevelled looking woman jumped out of it, smiling brightly at Lane. _

_"Lane! What are you waiting for, out here in the cold? Didn't we tell you about the turtle? The one that holds the keys, I mean?" She shook her hair, trying to make it fall back into place after a day's work and the severe weather had done their work. She made her way over to the porch, carefully avoiding the puddles that yesterday's rain had created._

_A loud laugh flowed out of Lane's mouth, sounding closer to sorrow than to joy. "I forgot about the turtle." She couldn't help it, tears already fell down her cheeks, leaving behind salty trails. _

_"Aw kid, what's going on? Your mom again?Let's get inside first." Lorelai put an arm around her and steered her into the house. _

_"What time is Rory coming home?" Lane asked through her tears._

_"She's not, babe, I'm sorry. She's staying over at Paris' house, they have some kind of idiotic project which apparently will take all night. She wasn't looking forward to it, but apparently saying no to Miss Gellar is not the best idea when you want to graduate from Chilton." Lorelai looked sympathetic. "You're welcome to stay though. And don't blame it on pity, I could use the company. To be true, I would have preferred a handsome fireman staying over, but hey, the stars can't always be on my side, can they?"_

Rory made her way up to them, and Lorelai quickly gave her a hug. "You'll be alright, I promise. The only thing I can't promise is how soon that'll be."

They talked some more, while drinking their coffee and then it was time to leave. Lane was reluctant to let go of them, but her flight would be boarding in fifteen minutes. "I'll come back soon this time, I promise," she called over her shoulder, while passing through customs.

May 1st 2015, Charles de Gaulle Airport, Paris, France.

Lane was rubbing her eyes, looking at the clock above the baggagebelts incredulously. She completely forgot that flying from the US to Europe not only meant a time-difference, but a mean one at that. It was two hours earlier than when she left New York. She shook her head and went searching for her suitcases.

The melodic sounds of the French language surrounded her again, and her thoughts adjusted to it quickly. She had long since combined the two languages in her head, something that worked perfectly for her, both at home and at work. She moved through the long hallways with ease, pausing only to call Adrienne and make a quick stop in a bathroom.

Half an hour later, Adrienne was waiting out front. Good to know someone that wasn't afraid of speeding, Lane thought with a smile. She would've hated to have to wait long, and public transport was not appealing at the moment, though she'd have to face it soon when taking the train back to Cannes.

"_Ma petite,_" Adrienne laughed. "At last. You've been gone much too long."

"I know, I know. Did I cause much trouble?" Lane asked, not sure if she wanted to know the answer. Adrienne's look comforted her instantly. There was no harm done at all, and the only trouble was that she had missed Lane.

"I called your house the other day, but Daniel told me you weren't in France yet. He didn't sound too good, and you don't look so good either." She lit a cigarette and drove in the direction of the city. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong?"

Lane shook her head. "Not yet," was her short answer. Adrienne herself was quite a direct person and didn't mind honesty at all, she even demanded it. The drive wasn't too long and the two women spent it in a comfortable silence.

They had dinner at Adrienne's place, a warm and welcoming penthouse in Quartier Latin, surrounded by little restaurants with every international cuisine you could think of. Lane breathed in the scents of all the dishes and warmed herself in the last sunshine of the day, that New York had lacked, but France had in luxurious amounts.

Her train left at eight, and the two of them parted with a hug. "Call me from work when you're settled in again, we'll discuss everything that happened in your absence. Be safe, Lane."

Lane boarded the train and waved at Adrienne, thanking her for the ride and dinner. She thought back to her conversation with Lorelai that morning, and felt different. She did have a friend, didn't she?

She found a seat and made herself comfortable. The book she had only just started in on the plane, couldn't get her attention. Worries clouded her thoughts and for a while she just stared out of the window.

_November 21st 2008, somewhere between Paris & Cannes, France._

_Lane sat in a compartment of the train, looking at her watch again. She wasn't even close yet, she thought, feeling sorry for herself. She looked at all the bags, the couple of boxes and even a plant, that filled the small space. These were the last things of her life in Paris._

_Daniel was already in their new home, making it presentable and somewhat of a home. They'd talked on the phone continuously, those last couple of days, both still in bliss after their wedding, even after three months of marriage. She had finished up at Hôtel des Anges' head office yesterday, but her husband had decided on going sooner, since he still had some time off from work to spare. _

_It was the first time they'd been away from each other longer than one night, and she missed him terribly. Lane laughed at herself, remembering her thoughts about marriage when she was only sixteen. Her mother had thought it the most important thing in life and urged her to find a nice, respectable Korean boy to marry, sooner rather than later. Her heart skipped a beat when she thought of her mother, remembering the emptiness she felt when she got married without family, and the guilt. _

_When she was young, she couldn't believe the fact that her mother felt marriage was such a great achievement, not since her father had left them when she was such a little girl. If it were her, she wouldn't have believed in it anymore, and it was the opinion she held for a long time. _

_Maybe if she knew why her father had left, it would make more sense, Lane often thought._

_She shook the slightly distressing memories off and tried to focus on making the train move faster. That last hour surely could be turned into forty minutes, she pleaded with the train in her mind._

Lane heaved her bags from the racks and moved out of the train. She looked at the ground deliberately, not seducing herself to hope for Daniel's face among the crowds that waited for their relatives and friends. He wouldn't be here.

When she finally turned her key in the lock, a worried feeling took a hold of her. Surely he would be _here_, at home? The house was dark, and not it's usual middle of the night dark: it looked as if it had been deserted for days. The mailbox was overflowing with papers and bills and the room was filled with a horrible smell when she opened the refridgerator. Lane sat down on the ground, surrounded by her bags and all the mail, and looked around her, speechless. Somehow she hadn't expected this.

When she finally stood up to turn on the light, a plain white envelope caught her eye. She opened it cautiously, as if expecting something dangerous, with trembling fingers. It was a short note, instead of the letter she expected. Daniel had always been amazing with words, but he needed a lot of them usually. This wasn't one of those moments, Lane saw, while her throat began to feel like sandpaper.

_April 28th_

_Lane,_

_I expect you'll be here soon._

_Not ready to face up to that just yet._

_Daniel._

Lane let the sheet of paper slide out of her hands and resumed her original position on the floor. The darkness outside was replaced by twilight, signalling the arrival of morning. It didn't give her any reassurance. She had no idea how to make this better, let alone fix it so it would be like it was before.


	19. Quatorze Juillet

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

**Story: **After Lane has finally left her controlled life at her mom's, she decides to take on the world. From Chapter 9 onwards: Fastforwarding ten years, look what the future brought Lane.

**Rating:** T

**19. Quatorze Juillet**

July 12th 2015, Paris, France.

Lane looked around at the penthouse, still not feeling at home, even after almost four weeks. She put away her shopping in the kitchen cabinets and took a deep breath. Paris itself was great, the perfect place to be in when you had a broken heart. And that was what it was: broken.

The city was preparing itself for the fourteenth of july, the streets already resounding with an excited murmur anticipating the festivities. This year, it wouldn't mean dinner with friends and looking at the fireworks for Lane. Daniel always took care of that. And calling friends up herself? She sighed deeply. Not really an option, since all the friends she'd made in France were also friends of Daniel. She suddenly wondered what his plans were, feeling a pang of jealousy.

The only friend she could think of right about now to be somewhat festive with, was Adrienne, who was in Hong Kong for the next couple of weeks. It'd been perfect, an empty house that needed looking after right at the moment that Lane had decided to get out of Daniels way.

_May 8th 2015, Cannes, France._

_Daniel returned home a week after Lane's arrival. They tiptoed around each other the first days, made polite conversation, but that didn't last. The conversations had stopped altogether, eyecontact was to be avoided at all times and neither of them could get out of the house fast enough when the other was in it. _

_Lane munched away on some bread, washing it away with large gulps of coffee, when Daniel entered. He made himself a sandwich in a hurry and almost knocked the coffeepot off the sink when Lane spoke up._

_"I'll be out of here tomorrow. Adrienne's going to Hong Kong for Des Anges and ..." Her voice trailed off. No need to make this into a story, Lane, he doesn't want to hear it. "Anyway, the number's on the fridge."_

_A tiny flicker of hope made her look up, hoping to see some kind of emotion in his eyes, but only to see him walk out. _

July 14th 2015, Paris, France.

Lane leaned out the window, enjoying her first cigarette in six years. She'd promised herself that she'd only smoke when there was some tragic event or emergency, and hey, in her book, being alone on _quatorze juillet_ was definitely one of those. She inhaled deeply, closing her eyes for a second, and then opened them again quickly after the first loud bangs. The fireworks were amazing, lighting up the sky and cleanzing the city of demons for another year, according to Chinese legends. She wished it worked for people too.

Her e-mailinbox had overflowed that morning. A smile had spread across her face when she saw the number of new messages, but it faded quickly when she saw the name of the sender. One sender. For all those messages.

Lane bit her lip, and closed the window with a thud. She had to take care of this part, at least, she reasoned. Ian needed some answers, apparently, even if she herself had thought to have been clear enough before. She sank down on a chair, opening the laptop that was sitting beside her.

_Ian,_

_Where to begin?_

_First of all, a confession. I haven't dared to open your e-mails. I truly feel that I'm not up to whatever it is you have written so many times. _

_There's no excuse for what has happened with us, to us, because of us. _

_The truth is that I love my husband. You were the handsome dream of my past, he was the grim reality I was in. That's all I am able to give for an explanation right now._

_Please stop writing._

_The only thing I promise is that we'll talk about this,_

_someday._

_Lane._

She shut down her laptop and made her way up to the roof. Adrienne had made a little terrace up there, with comfortable chairs and everything. Lane sat down on one of them and closed her eyes, making a wish that her heart didn't even believe in anymore.


	20. A Surprising Visit

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

**Story: **After Lane has finally left her controlled life at her mom's, she decides to take on the world. From Chapter 9 onwards: Fastforwarding ten years, look what the future brought Lane.

**Rating:** T

**20. A Surprising Visit**

July 16th 2015, Paris, France.

It had been the longest day since ... Lane couldn't even think of one. Work at the hotel was busier than ever, especially with Adrienne out of town. Lane found herself not even getting to her own work anymore, she was simply solving other people's problems. The time that she had left when she finished those was spent avoiding thoughts about Ian and Daniel. The former didn't make that an easy job, his calls were numerous, or so her messages told her. The latter made it easy in the sense of not making any contact, but somehow that was worse. Thoughts of him were always lurking in the back of her mind, catching her off guard at times.

_November 10th 2013, London, United Kingdom._

_Freezing hands blinded her and made her yell out loud. The hands didn't let go yet and Lane's heart skipped a beat.. "Who is this?" she asked, playing the game she knew so well with a smile._

_"It's not a who! You have to ask the what-question!" Daniel gasped, disappointed. He let go of her face and looked at her, almost pouting._

_"Well, at least we've solved my question. It's Daniel!" she said, laughing. She took his face in her hands and kissed him tenderly. "This is an amazing surprise! I was just thinking on cutting this trip short!"_

_Daniel smiled when he thought of the hotelroom he had booked. He'd arranged it all on beforehand with Adrienne. "What did you think, that I would let the four and a half year anniversary of our very first date pass like it was nothing? We already did that with the third and fourth. And besides, you could use some time off." Before he knew it, her lips covered his again and her arms were firmly wrapped around him._

With a yawn, Lane locked her office-door, and left the building, preparing herself for a hot bath and a glass of wine. That thought didn't last long, when she felt a soft hand with a firm grip on her shoulder.

A man's voice sounded in her ear, with a French accent and traces of Korean. "Lane Kim?"

July 17th 2015, Paris, France.

It was past midnight and Lane was nowhere near going to bed. Opposite her, at the kitchentable, sat a man that was vaguely familiar. Her father. He quietly drank his tea and stared at her intently.

They had gone to a small Korean restaurant he knew, and dined in utter silence. Lane was unable to speak aloud, not knowing what would come first: tears or screaming. After dinner she'd invited him up to the house for some tea, still unsure of what to say.

"You've made a good life for yourself," her father suddenly spoke. He looked around the kitchen, admiring Adrienne's fine china. Lane decided not to break the illusion, after all, she had made a good life. One that looked a lot like this, even if it was in pieces right now.

"Why have you come?" she asked, almost whispering. She remembered the funeral, suspecting that he had been there, but still not being sure.

He looked up, straight into her eyes. Lane felt as though he could see right through her. "I wanted to apologize for sneaking in the day of the funeral. And then leaving again. I made a mistake." Mr. Kim stroked his chin absent-mindedly.

They moved to the sofa where they sat in an uneasy silence until he started to talk about her mother, and her being born. Lane held her breath until he reached the most important part: the part where he left.

"We'd been together forever, and in the end, I didn't know why anymore. Your mother ... I never truly believed in God, which was something that hurt her deeply. We grew apart and then, then I met someone. I fell in love. I don't know how to explain it exactly, the affair didn't last, but I couldn't come back. I tried talking to your mother after a couple of months had passed, but she had gotten so wrapped up in her Bible group, that she didn't listen anymore. Not that I blame her, I don't think I would've listened in her place, but the fact that I couldn't see you? Just because I fell in love with someone, acted on a hunch? That'd been a mistake. My mistake. And I only have myself to blame for that." He looked up at her, tears in his eyes.

Lane closed her eyes, willing back the tears that had started to form. It was unreal, finally knowing why her dad left, especially because it seemed so relevant to her life right now. She cleared her throat and stood up. "Do you want a glass of wine?"


	21. An American in Paris

**Disclaimer: **I do not own the character of Lane Kim, nor any character that appeared previously on the Gilmore Girls. Anna James and Daniel Laurent sprang from my own imagination, as did Olivier, Ian Carmichael and Adrienne Gilles.

**21. An American in Paris**

July 21st 2015, Paris, France.

Ian pushed his way through a group of Japanese tourists, happily photographing everything in sight. He caught a glance of his appearance when he passed a souvenirshop and was appalled by the sight. He needed a shower, quickly, and a shave. And maybe some requited love, too. He sighed, frustrated at himself for being unable to break free of this mess. Why should the only girl he'd ever loved be married? And, he admitted, why couldn't she love him back? He knew it wasn't going to happen anymore, that she'd been in a messed up phase in her life, not knowing what she wanted or who she wanted to be with. But ultimately, she belonged to Daniel. A voice in the back of his mind reminded him of the fact that he had helped break up a happy couple. His stubbornness laughed at the voice. Happy? She hadn't been happy.

He looked down on the paper in his hand, not even realizing that he was in Paris, the amazing Paris, the city of lights, the city of love, that he'd never been to before. Lane was on his mind. Lane, and closure. Kind of.

_March 20th 2008, Chicago, Illinois, United States._

_Ian rolled over and laid his head on his arm. What was he doing here? He stared at the sleeping blonde next to him, taking in her features and not feeling even slightly moved by them. A certain short, Korean girl still occupied his mind. He tried to shake the memories off, but didn't succeed. Even Ian himself was baffled by his obsession. It'd been years ago, and still he couldn't help but compare every girl to her. _

_The next morning he was up at dawn, taking a shower and clearing his head. Taryn, the girl in his bed, would be the one, he decided. The one that would make him forget, maybe the one that he would compare his future girlfriends too. He had it all planned out._

A fever had taken over Ian's thoughts. He frantically searched his map for the street he was supposed to find Lane at, but he couldn't track it down. His eyes clouded up and a drum began a heavy rythm somewhere near his right ear. Desperate for some clarity, he walked into a cafe, ordering an espresso and taking a short break. The clouds evaporated and he could quietly breath again.

Lane hadn't talked to him. She just hung up, she didn't answer his letters or e-mails and he was lost. Finally he'd realized who the woman of his dreams was, and now she wouldn't give him closure. He gulped down the tiny cup of steaming liquid and decided to ask the waitress for directions. The girl smiled and pointed to the other side of the road. "You're almost there," she said in a heavy accent.

_July 1st 2015, Chicago, Illinois._

_Ian didn't visit his parents very often, but felt the need was high. He was shattered by his affair with Lane, all the complications had made something that could've been heaven straight into a hell-like situation. Parental guidance, or at least some comfort, was what he needed. The house looked and smelled like old times and brought back memories from the days when he couldn't wait to get out of there, life could only get easier, his naive teenage self had concluded. Ian snorted at the thought. Luckily he hadn't known his future back then._

_Dinner was assuringly comfortable, his mom's potroast filled his veins with warmth and melancholy, sending him out into the night to visit the bar he used to frequent. Maybe he'd walk into someone from highschool, or maybe he'd just have a beer and relax._

_He walked into someone alright. It took him a minute to process the smiling face at the other side of the bar. She looked amazing. Taryn had put on some weight, and it flattered her. He'd always thought she was too skinny to begin with, trying to keep up with modern days' trends, trends that in Ian's mind could kill people._

_The drinks part had been uncomfortable, the walk in the park loaded with anticipation. The night settled the deal and made sure that Ian finally slept a solid night for the first time in months, maybe even years._

Ian rang the bell, waiting for the metallic voice coming through the rusty speaker, but nothing came. Instead, he felt a hand on his shoulder. When he turned around, tired eyes looked into his. He smiled.

"I just wanted to say goodbye. And I'm sorry."


End file.
